those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
