Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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