He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
