yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
