I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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