it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
