You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
