You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
