sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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