this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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