I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
