ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
