Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
