eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
