Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
