well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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