so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
