I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
