I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
