Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
