You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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