He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
