therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
