I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
