i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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