WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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