yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
