i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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