I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
