dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
