I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
my liver is dry heaving
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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