genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
