so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
