I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I would fuck him just for his dog
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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