maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
