Well douche your snatch and let's go!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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