I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
