Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
