Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
