I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
