Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
