Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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