Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
