Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
