So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't deserve a penis
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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