ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
