You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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