Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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