The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
