Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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