I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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